Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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