Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
