Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I am naked and annoyed.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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