we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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