my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
