you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
