Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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