Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
