And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
