guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
