i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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