Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
it was like eating out sand paper
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
