i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
