i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
