hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm bleeding and have questions
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
