***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
