It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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