the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
