This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
