Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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