one might say we're banned from that church
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
