I cockslap morals
I think im going to throw up on grandma
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
