The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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