i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
How naked do you want me to be?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
