Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
