Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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