i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
