My friends, they love my intelligence
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she pinky promised me she was 18
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
