Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This is my gift to your gina
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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