can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
