Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
