I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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