It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
