No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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