I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This is classic penis vs brain.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
