Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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