i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
