Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
