im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
