barbara walters just said penis...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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