You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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