just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
