Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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