you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My vagina is very pro this idea
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
