I want to have your abortion
She said her name was "party"
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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