is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I wish you could order shots online.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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