I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
