this boner is exhausting
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
