I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
