sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
